Archive for the ‘Football (Not Soccer)’ Category


Friday, February 6th, 2009

The Cardinals announced a statistical change Thursday, giving defensive tackle Darnell Dockett a share of a Super Bowl record.

It has been ruled that the third-and-1 play at the 10:11 mark of the first quarter in Super Bowl XLIII — initially recorded as a Ben Roethlisberger scramble for no gain — has been changed to a sack for Dockett. The change gives Dockett three sacks for the game, which ties him for the Super Bowl record with Green Bay’s Reggie White, who also had three sacks against New England in Super Bowl XXXI.

As a result of the play, Roethlisberger should have three carries for two yards (not four carries for two yards) and the Steelers as a team should have 25 carries for 58 yards (not 26 carries for 58 yards).

This Guy Is Good

Let’s Be Honest (Cardinals Were Robbed)

Monday, February 2nd, 2009

The haters in Steeler Nation are livid over accusations of bad officiating. They, and their supporters, are looking myopically at several plays that were punctuated by terrible calls (or no-calls) from officials.

They claim that the holding call in the end zone that resulted in a safety was bogus, but ignore the fact that the safety should have been called on the previous play when Parker didn’t make it out of the end zone.

They claim that the forward pass that was ruled a fumble, and overturned on review, was really a fumble.

And then there was the final Cardinals play of the game: The officials ruled the play a fumble (again) and gave the ball to the Steelers, thus ending any chance for the Cardinals to get the Hail Larry (because anyone who knows what Fitzgerald is capable of in those situations knows that the pass needs to be renamed).

For some reason that is only known by the NFL, the play was not automatically reviewed by the booth. Had the play been reviewed the official under the hood would have been able to see a very high quality image as represented here:

Forward Pass Ruled A Fumble

Forward Pass Ruled A Fumble

Anyone capable of objective thought can surely see that he maintained possession of the ball through the passing motion and the ball did not come out earlier, as ruled by the official.

We don’t like to see anyone lose because of bad officiating, and that is exactly what happened in this game.

And then there is the roughing the passer that wasn’t and the intentional grounding that was (but wasn’t called).

And it goes on-and-on…

George Bretherton writes: “The hurried judgment (of the booth officials) took on greater significance when the Steelers’ James Farrior was penalized 15 yards for unsportsmanlike conduct after he removed his helmet on the field. If a longer inspection of the fumble had shown that Warner in fact had possession as his arm was moving forward, the Cardinals would have run the next play from the Steelers’ 29, hardly a Hail Mary situation.”

Attention Gang Green

Saturday, January 17th, 2009



Just sayin…

Wrong Man(ning)

Thursday, January 15th, 2009

The New York Daily News article:

“Giant payday coming to Eli Manning after laying Eagle egg” reports that Eli Manning will be getting an $120 million contract.

Sources close to the negotiations claim that the New York football Giants mistakenly thought they were bidding on Peyton.

Oreo Double Stuf commercial blamed for the confusion.

Odd Lot

Sunday, January 4th, 2009

These Guys Are Good

Conference Championships

Wednesday, January 16th, 2008

One at Lambeau.  One at Foxborough.

Forecast temperatures are -13 to 16.  That’s fahrenheit for you Canadians.

No domes.  Open stadiums.

Cold. Snow. Frozen snot.

Number 4 handing it off to number 25.

Now that’s Football.

We Like Mike

Sunday, January 6th, 2008

Strahan. Not Huckabee.  Huckabee said the best military strategy is “Turn the Generals Loose.”

Strahan said “Let’s have some pancakes, bacon and eggs!”

Michael likes to eat.  In addition to pancakes, bacon and eggs. He likes to eat O Linemen, Quarter, Half, and Full Backs. 

We just wish he didn’t play for the Giants.  Because the Giants suck.

Canadian Bacon

Tuesday, December 18th, 2007

I was about to write something snarky about Ray Lewis missing most of the rest of the game, in the Ravens loss to a school of fish, because of “a” dislocated left finger.

Until I read that article from The Canadian Press, which explained that it was “the” left finger that was dislocated.

I didn’t know that Ray only had one finger on his left hand.  My bad.  I’ll refrain from the snarky analysis that I was going to proffer.

Maybe it’s time for another go at annexing those poor people up there.


Monday, December 10th, 2007


These Guys Are Good Too.


Friday, December 7th, 2007


These Guys Are Good.

Bill Belichick Using Mind Control

Thursday, December 6th, 2007

The League fined Coach Belichick 500 large for taping Defensive Coordinators calls. At the time, the prognosticators alleged that the only reason the Patriot’s were winning was because they were cheating. The League also fined the team and took away a first-round draft pick.

The combination pissed off B² so much that he undertook a scorched earth policy against the Patriot’s opponents. Then the prognosticators alleged that B² was running up the score.

Can I get a witness? Amen.

The most recent anti-Patriot sentiment comes after Tom Brady and Jabar Gaffney combined with only seconds left in the game to overtake the Ravens and win the game. Only the 834nd time that Brady has engineered a last-minute, game winning drive. The Ravens’ secondary, especially Bart Scott, were so humiliated by the play that they threw a fit. Scott got an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty and then picked up the flag and threw it into the stands. UC². Most fans hope to leave the game with a football, or some piece of uniform from their favorite player. On this day, some lucky fan left the game with a weighted yellow hankie.

How cool is that? Did the official sign the hankie? Did the officiating crew storm the stands to recover the wayward hankie?

Stay tuned.

The only logical explanation is that B² is using mind control. He used mind control to cause the Ravens Defensive Coordinator to call a time out; He used mind control to cause Jamaine Winborne to commit a holding penalty; He used mind control to cause Tom to throw to Jabar; He used mind control to cause the defense of the Ravens to have a pee-wee league meltdown…

Chris McAlister said: “It’s hard to go out there and play the Patriots and the refs at the same time. They put the crown on top, and they want them to win.”

Samari Rolle said: “It’s a travesty when you go out there and play that hard, and the refs decide the outcome. Nobody really likes us because we earned the reputation we have, but you have to let the players play, man. It’s sad.”

Rolle also said that some of Bart Scott’s unsportsmanlike conduct that cost the Ravens 30 yards on the final kickoff was precipitated by head linesman Phil McKinnely referring to Rolle as “boy.”

“He did it five times,” Rolle said, “You don’t call a grown man with a wife and three kids ‘boy.’ … If he put on a helmet, he wouldn’t say that to me.”

Phil McKinnely is a 53 year old former pro football Offensive Tackle. I’m willing to bet he would come out the better if he put on a helmet Against Rolle.

You don’t want to be called boy, don’t act like one. Regardless of how many wives or kids you have. McKinnely also told Scott to “show some class.” Good point.

Mind control. The only logical explanation.